Fun with Delta Airlines or How I Learned to Travel Inconveniently

After a circus of incompetence, I found myself trying to get a flight home from Ft. Myers, Florida this week.

Last week started out with my inability to go to work due to the death of Roxann's Grandmother. So I had to stay home and go out on Friday to the install in Mexico's sunny Reynosa. Thursday night, my co-worker Randy and I flew 4 hours with layovers to Harlingen (pronounced HarlinJen) via Southwest Airlines. We stayed the night in McAllen TX and would cross the border to work the next morning. After waiting an extra hour for our liaison to arrive, he informed us that the Vice President is coming to town this weekend and the Federalis and Militaria would be in town so we would not go over. I am feeling safer by the moment. So after much conferencing calling as well as name calling, it was decided by the think-tank-juggernaut that is my company that Randy and I will fly to Florida to complete another install. Ft. Myers. 4 Hours worth of flight later and a 2 hour drive from Tampa we arrive in Ft. Myers. We sleep and arrive at the site the next morning. By the end of the day on Saturday, I knew that we would be able to fly home on Monday. Not really...

Southwest Airlines was all booked up for flights into Nashville for the next 3 days. So I turned to the other airlines. Delta. Delta had a flight that went through Cincinnati, Ohio. It would take another 4 hours to fly home. Yay...! So I booked the flight.

I get on the airplane. No pillows. Just blankets. You see, usually I roll my worthless airline pillow into a blanket to make a larger, firmer pillow capable of putting me to sleep. No such luck here. To make matters worse, it is 90-odd degrees outside and stuffy in the plane as usual. As soon as the plane decided to back away from the gate, the air spouts turned off. Many passengers were seen reaching toward their air spouts wondering why the only real service that is wanted on a plane has to be denied until take-off. Then there was the constant feedback on the speakers that were not shut off the entire flight. Randy and I plugged in my PSP to watch a movie. Because we were not paying attention, the flight attendant skipped us on drinks and peanuts. We had to call them back.

Then we landed in Cincinnati's International Airport and we had to get to gate C52 in 30 minutes. We were at B11. In order to get to terminal C, we have to go down the escalator and ride a shuttle bus. At the bottom of the escalator was the door to the shuttles over to the right. However, the line went off to the left, down the hall to security in a seemingly unending oblivion that eventually turned back around and came back to the door. Confused travelers listed to the right toward the doors after leaving the escalator only to be shouted down and verbally assaulted by weary line sitting airport patrons. We eventually made it to our Terminal and gate with five minutes to spare.

The flight was delayed. Why? Because the flight crew was not there. They gave the time 3:25. An extra 25 minutes. We went for lunch. Apparently they were just kidding about the time because 10 minutes later they boarded the plane. We made it and the plane pushed back from the gate at 3:20. Ha ha Just kidding about that whole delay thing. Hope you made it. This plane was the smallest aircraft I had ever been in. CRJ-200 - holds about 50 people but only about 3 comfortably. I had to check my laptop under the plane because the overhead bins were the size of bread boxes and there was no room under the seats. Again, no air until takeoff. Even then, it was pitiful.

We landed. 20 minutes later I finally had my laptop. An underpaid attendant rolled a cart up to the terminal gate where we were waiting for our stuff, stopped the cart and walked away. Thanks for the service. Then it was off to baggage claim to get my suitcase. In the Nashville Airport, Delta has 4 baggage claim belts. They were only going to use 2 today, however, and doubled us up with a flight from DC. The hordes of people standing there left no room to see what is on the belt, because hey... if you are not standing directly in front of the belt, your luggage will not show up. So we waited. Finally, Randy's stuff showed up after about another 15 minutes of wait but not mine. We continued to wait until there was no new luggage on the belt. Defeated, I fished my claim ticket out of my pocket and headed to the office to file my complaint. Well... Obviously I had not waited long enough was the reply and then I was directed to a group of bags down by the fourth belt. They had taken the liberty of removing some bags from the cart and placing them over here. No where near the office or the belt we were all watching and for no particular reason. Great.

Honestly I survived but I am quite leery of Delta now as well as Cincinnati's International Airport. What is the moral of the story?
There really isn't one.

Spence